Letting Go of Illusions

Last week I got to be part of something amazing! Extreme Makeover Home Edition came to a small town near where I grew up and changed the lives of one family forever. Well actually they changed the lives of many! My mother is friends with several of the women that spear-headed the campaign to get the family a new home and she was so excited for them and couldn't wait to meet the cast. She loves the show! She worked every day from sun up to waaaay past sun down. She called me one day and invited me to tag along with her. And I did feel like a tag-a-long. I didn't know the family personally, I'm not a fan of the show and I felt more like someone hoping to sneak a peak at Ty. I suspect their were a few who showed for that reason!
I quickly learned it didn't matter if I knew the family or not. I now know their personal story and it makes me cry to repeat it to anyone. Strange to have such strong emotions for people I don't know. Immediately after arriving and finding my mom she begins introducing me to everyone! I was so embarrassed and it continued the entire time I worked.
It was so amazing to see so many people volunteering their time. Some friends of the family took a week's vacation so they could work every day. And work they did! Weather was not our friend. It rained for the last few days and by rain, I mean all day and all night. Maybe we shoud have been building an ark instead of a house! Rain or shine the people worked. They worked hard. And for nothing in return. At least nothing tangible! They worked because they cared. They worked because this family needed a new home. They worked because this special little boy inspires them. And I worked. Because it was important to my mom and because it was truly something amazing to be a part of.
I've only seen the ending to maybe two shows, but I still had specific impressions of what would happen. Boy was I wrong! And I left at the end of the week feeling a bit disillussioned. And even a little angry. I have no idea why, but I know anger was part of my emotional roller coaster that week! I think maybe because I knew I was not alone in my impressions and it felt somewhat like fraud or at least false advertising.
That got me thinking about other times in my life I've succumbed to illusion and the ugly feeling of disillusionment. I remember learning my parents were just people, nothing more and nothing less and that just like everyone else they made mistakes and weren't perfect. And sometimes unmasking the illusions were hard and difficult to accept. And then I couln't help thinking about when my own children will learn that I'm not really "super mommy"- that I don't have super powers. I can't alleviate pain with just a kiss, I'm not all-knowing and larger than life. They'll grow up to realize I'm just a regular person without magical powers and in actuality a regular person who is full of IT. I hate that! I don't want them to learn that. I even had to acknowledge that my own husband isn't really a character in a romantic comedy. (of course I'm perfect and full of sunshine)
Last week I learned something about illusions. I created the illusions! They were my impressions and only I can be responsible for choosing to accept reality. I learned that people really do care. I learned that communities DO come together and that community extends much farther than city limit signs. I learned that my mother has a big heart and she wants to share it with me. I learned the importance of supporting special causes and endeavors for members of my family. I learned that reality is sooo much better than a Hollywood illusion! Of course I also realized I need to stop and see people for who they really are and love and accept them when they don't quite match up to MY expectations. Can I really do that? I'm going to try. And next time my mother embarrasses me, maybe I won't be embarrassed. Instead I'll just smile.

Why is it so hard to acknowledge we aren't perfect? And why do I think men don't have the same problem. I was talking to a good friend last night and we've both been going through some difficult times. We're in completely different seasons of our lives, but both needing to cry and vent. She's embarrassed and frustrated and so am I!
At mommy groups (at least at mine) it seems the talk is usually about how great the kids are and how wonderful marraiges are and even how supportive and wonderful the husbands are. Really? Everything is super great? I have my doubts, but it seems to be much easier to focus on the positive and even exaggerate just how wonderful things are. Why? Wouldn't it be more productive to share about our "real" lives? Who better to learn and grow with than other women?!
It seems easy to discuss how the images of women in media adversely effect the self images and self esteem of our young girls, but what about the distorted view of our "perfect" selves we convey to other women? What kind of negative effect does this have on women everywhere?
I'm so grateful to have at least two strong and wonderful women in my life I can be myself with. Thanks for listening and letting me know it's okay not to be perfect!