Today was a good day, or at least it finished with a super sweet bang. My husband and I usually play a man to man defense at bedtime, with him putting our daughter to bed. He is away with work tonight, so I had the pleasure of putting both daughter and son to bed. And it is actually a pleasure, they are both asleep and it is only 8:20 pm.
Lately I've been feeling my children growing up, or pulling away from me. Some days I feel they would rather mommy return to work so they don't have to spend every single second with me. I should feel proud that I've done a good job and glad they feel secure and glad they are want to go to school. But of course all I feel is obsolete. And of course my husband doesn't understand and thinks I'm more than crazy when I react sensitively or overract with a little teary drama. And he's right, but that doesn't matter. My babies are growing up and I'm not always sure where that leaves me.
Well, tonight at bedtime my sweet daughter did wonders for my ego. We have special rituals when I put her to bed, us girls have to stick together. She'll tell you we're "razzle dazzles" and boys are stinky! So we always say two wishes a piece to her special wishing rock and then put it under her pillow for sweet dreams. She wished first tonight, "I wish mommy would never go back to work and stay with me all the time!" Oh my gosh! Really? I kissed her and thanked her so much.
Maybe I'm doing okay after all, it doesn't get much better than that!
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